In April we received a list of 13 countries that would be open for us to go to during our movement window. We were told to pick our top four choices. We had very little time to respond. So we started by crossing out the places we knew we did not want to go. The first country we crossed off was Hanoi, Vietnam. Funny, right? What’s even funnier is the reason why we crossed off Vietnam first. As soon as we read the word “Vietnam,” we thought of the war and figured we didn’t want to go there. Also, we had no particular desire to be in Asia. Our hearts were set on South America and Europe. We were also looking to go somewhere different than where we are now.
The way the Marine Security Guard (MSG) program typically works is you have one hardship tour in a country that can be a bit challenging to live in and a non-hardship tour in a nicer country that is easier to live in. This is the ideal situation, but things do not always work out that way. Most everyone knows that Algiers is a third-world country and very fitting for a hardship post. Therefore, we only had our eyes on places that we knew were the opposite. However, Hanoi is also a third-world country and, on paper, ranks as another hardship post.
Douglas called me at home to share the news. My phone rang and the first thing he said was, “Are you sitting down?” I thought to myself, this can’t be good. My jaw actually dropped when he said to me, “The list is out and we’re on it for Hanoi.” I think my immediate response was, “What?” (In my best Lil’ Jon voice.) Douglas and I began thinking about how we could possibly get this changed. I remembered the spouse who lived in Algiers before me said her husband got assigned another hardship post for his second tour. She said her husband got on the phone with the Region First Sergeant asking to be sent somewhere else. She said they fought for it and eventually their assignment was changed to a more favorable country that was completely opposite the lifestyle in Algiers. Immediately, I thought maybe Douglas and I should do the same thing. But first we wanted to get on the phone with the current Detachment Commander and spouse in Hanoi and get their perspective on life in Vietnam. After that we would decide if we still wanted to plead our case to the Region First Sergeant.
A day passed and I went to Douglas’ office telling him not to call Region. I thought back to the moment we found out we were moving to Algiers. I remembered all the negative things we assumed about the country. I remembered the negative feelings I heard from previous and current people stationed in Algiers. I remembered all the warnings people gave to us during the training that was provided for spouses before the Marines graduated the school. While I appreciated all the honest feedback, it was quite disheartening. But I did my very best to keep a positive attitude. Now, 16 months later, it has all worked out. Algiers is certainly not paradise, but it also wasn’t a death sentence as some claimed. Douglas and I have had many challenging experiences in Algiers, but those challenges have made us better people individually and made our marriage stronger as well. We have received exposure to another part of the world that some have never heard of before. We developed a new appreciation for everything we have in America that we often took for granted. I greatly improved my cooking skills and now have the ability and confidence to try to cook just about anything. And in such a short period of time we have had the opportunity to travel throughout Europe several times visiting Italy, Germany, Spain, and Portugal. Bad things can happen anywhere you go. But we are so blessed to have our good days outweigh our bad days; therefore, we cannot complain. You can place two people in the same environment and have them both walk away with two different experiences based on two different attitudes. That is my biggest lesson learned thus far on this program.
Using that approach, I applied those same feelings to Hanoi. I felt there was no reason why we should question where God assigns us to reside. Everything worked out in Algiers and I do believe everything will work out in Hanoi. So, we decided not to ask for another post. If Hanoi is where we are assigned then Hanoi is where we will be, unless God moves us. Douglas felt the same way and we proceeded with that new attitude.
As we began telling family and a few close friends, their responses were unexpected. The majority of people responded to our news with, “I’m so sorry to hear that” or “That sucks!” or “That’s terrible” or “Could they have given you any place worse?” or “Why Hanoi?” It was a good thing Douglas and I weren’t depressed about our new assignment because after telling those individuals they would have dang near pushed us over the edge. I thought to myself, “Shouldn’t family and close friends have more encouraging and positive responses?” And even if their feelings were justified, I still don’t believe you should express such negative views or reactions to the people who have to go live there. Such responses surely didn’t make us feel good. That is why I was so grateful that Douglas and I were already on a good page before we shared the news with everyone. Another lesson learned: don’t share your business with anyone until you have fully accepted the truth about that business yourself.
After thinking about it I realized that those same individuals, who responded in such a negative way, were only thinking the same thing we initially thought. It’s making an assumption about a place based on lack of knowledge about the place, which is toxic. Later, we decided to share the news with Americans who work at the embassy. Their responses were entirely opposite. People responded by saying things like, “You’re going to love it there!” or “It’s such a beautiful city” or “The beaches are gorgeous” or “You guys will be treated so well” or “You two are going to have a great time!” Now these are individuals who are familiar with Hanoi because they know people who were stationed there, or they were stationed there themselves, or they have travelled to cities and countries in that area. They all gave informed opinions because they had the knowledge and/or experience to back up their responses.
That experience in sharing our news with others taught me that so many of us are misinformed about life outside of America. I say us because I include Douglas and me in that description. This is all the more reason why I’m so happy we are going to Hanoi. We can learn the culture of the city and share our experiences in that country and continent with others. Hopefully, through our stories, we can paint a different picture in the minds of ourselves and others on what we see when we hear Vietnam. Some aspects of education aren’t found in books or on the internet. Some of the best education comes from living the experiences that are often only read about.
Ready or not, Vietnam, here we come!
