Bangkok, Thailand

It was that time of year again – the Region Conference for the Detachment Commanders. At the end of August our Region Conference was held in Bangkok, Thailand. Aside from the Marine Corps Birthday Ball, the Region Conference is one of the most highly anticipated events of the year for Marines and their families who are a part of the Marine Security Guard (MSG) Program. It’s always fun to meet other spouses in your assigned region and for the Marines to be around their peers and senior leaders. Douglas and I weren’t as thrilled this time due to arriving in Vietnam just three weeks prior to the start of the conference. We were beginning to settle into Hanoi and relax from the previous months of traveling we had done. But ready or not, we were going to Bangkok!

As a note to those unfamiliar with this program, there are no bases when it comes to embassies overseas. At each post, the assigned Detachment Commander is (usually) the most senior Marine there. As well, there are no other military spouses such as those one would find at Marine Corps bases. There are overseas military bases, but in the MSG program, Marines are only assigned to US embassies and consulates overseas. Embassies are run by Department of State officials, while bases are run by Department of Defense officials. Resources available to service members and their families typically found on Marine bases are not found on embassy compounds. Also, the highest ranking person in charge of a base is the assigned General. The highest person in charge of the United States embassy in a given country is the assigned Ambassador (or Consular General in the case of a consulate). Hopefully this helps to understand the difference between a Marine Corps base and an embassy / consulate and why Marines and their families greatly look forward to seeing one another at these conferences.

The conference began on a Monday and ended on a Friday. We went there a few days early to give Douglas the opportunity to see Bangkok as a tourist. There is no time allotted for the Marines to be tourists during the conference, which is understandable since the gathering is not intended to be a vacation. We arrived the weekend before the conference began. To maintain the privacy of operations I will not share our hotel information. I will say the hotel was absolutely beautiful; it had outstanding customer service, great food, an array of excellent amenities and was conveniently situated in the city.

We awoke early Saturday to visit the famous Chatuchak Weekend Market. It consists of over 15,000 stalls of merchandise. There is no other place one will find such a variety of items for incredibly cheap prices. Bartering prices is even recommended. One can start as low as 1/3 of the asking price. The only vendors who do not barter are those with prices listed. We got there around 9:30 a.m. I wish we had followed the advice of others and arrived earlier in the morning. The market was flooded with people! And the heat was almost unbearable. The earlier you go, the less people there are and the lower the temperature will be. I didn’t think my clothing could stick to my body anymore than it was but as the day continued I began to feel like my shorts and shirt were painted onto my skin. The trip was well worth the heat and crowds though. Douglas and I brought our small carry-on suitcases to avoid carrying several bags from our purchases. It was also convenient because the aisles inside the market were quite tight, making it difficult for individuals to walk through with just themselves. I could only imagine what type of squeeze it would have been with numerous bags on our shoulders.

Chatuchak is also known for its delicious food. It is a good spot to get authentic Thai food for very reasonable prices. Douglas and I visited several food stands and must have eaten a full meal from them all combined for no more than $5 each. We also saw a few sights that were not so appealing but at any market we must prepare ourselves to see many different animals with their insides on display for purchase. I still have not adjusted to that after visiting several markets in various countries. The time at Chatuchak was absolutely great! It was indeed well worth the trip and much-needed shower Douglas and I took after we left.

Funniest moment of the day - while walking on a bridge to enter the train station, his hat flew off his head and onto the street. And this guy actually wanted to run down there in the middle of traffic to try and claim it! Hilarious!

the entire market looked like this - hoards of people

For obvious reasons we had to get a picture of this t-shirt.

Authentic Thai dessert

this combination of cold sticky rice, fresh mangoes, and coconut sauce is mouthwatering delicious!

Each chicken skewer was approximately .32 cents each. I lost count of how many we consumed!

Nothing like pure pomegranate juice

Crack it open and you have coconut water....

As healthy as coconut water is, I just could not drink it. After one sip I was done! Douglas, however, loved it!

Saturday night we went to the theater to see Siam Niramit. It’s a spectacular show that displays Thai history and culture on stage. The show takes place in the world’s largest theater and included some the most amazing stage effects I have ever seen.

Before the show, Douglas and I came upon a small pre-show outside the theater. Several Thai dancers gathered in a large circle performing traditional dances in their costumes. Within moments I was kindly being grabbed in by one of the dancers to be her partner. Caught completely off-guard, I smiled and joined the group, having fun while learning some of their traditional dance moves. Of course, Douglas gladly got photos and video of me enjoying myself. It was so humid out there; I worked up more of a sweat from doing my two little moves the entire time than the dancers did putting on the actual show! 

We planned to spend the day Sunday sightseeing by the water. Early in the morning we took the Sky Train to Saphan Taksin station stop. From there we caught the Chao River Express Boat to first visit the temples. It costs 150 Baht ($4.81) per person for unlimited rides on the boat all day. Our first stop was a Buddhist temple. There are thousands of Buddhist temples, or wats, in Thailand. We narrowed down our options by electing to visit the most popular wats in Thailand. Wat Arun – The Temple of Dawn which sits on the Chao Phraya River – is one of the most noticeable wats along the river. Nearly everyone that visits Wat Arun goes there to climb the steep steps around the temple. Douglas and I made it to the top; however, it was not the easiest climb with tight jeans on. It felt like I was going to bust a stitch in my crotch on the way up. Next time I will be sure to wear something more appropriate for the activity.

Wat Arun - The Temple of Dawn

On his way to the top...

on my way down....it's advised to walk up and down the stairs sideways to get your entire foot on the step

view from the top of the temple

After leaving there we decided to go for a private boat tour up the Chao River. One of the best ways to see the city is by boat. The further up the river you go, the more you will see of what typical Bangkok looks like. So much of the city is now modernized. Before the many upgrades and construction Bangkok was once a floating city. Everything was done by boat because every place was off the water. The boat tour was 90 minutes long and inexpensive. We even bartered the price with the vendor. It was shocking to see how many places you could barter prices. The boat we rode in reminded me of the gondola we rode while in Venice, Italy. This one was called a longtail. I was taken aback to see how many Thai people still live in the khlongs (canals) we went through. It is very foreign for me to think of getting in a boat to go to the grocery store, market, shopping, or to do anything! We spotted children playing in the river water, having a blast. Though they were having fun, it definitely makes me appreciate having access to a clean pool. 

long-tail boat

Impressive!!!

house off the water

  

This man approached our boat selling an array of fresh fruit

Kids along the river very happy to see tourist pass by

who needs a pool when you can swim in the river?

very nice house along the river

grocery store on the river

About an hour out from the main part of the river was the Floating Market. There are a few floating markets in Thailand. We went to Taling Chan Floating Market. It has fewer boats than other markets but just enough to fit this category. In the market there were all kinds of dishes being cooked, many sweets and treats to buy, and tons or beautiful flowers to choose from. 

not a pleasant sight to see  - hundreds of fish going after one piece of bread. It just doesn't seem right!

Side-view of floating market

this little boy assisted in pulling our boat into the dock....

chicken satay - popular Thai dish  - juicy chicken marinated and grilled to perfection!

Once the tour was over we went back to the pier to catch the Chao River Express Boast to another pier. We then ventured to see the Grand Palace which is known to be the city’s most famous landmark. It’s a spectacular sight! Due to our time constraint we were unable to tour inside the palace. The next time we visit Bangkok, we will do the full tour. 

It was incredibly hot that day. The high humidity did not help either. As we had already spent half the day touring various places I began to feel very uncomfortable in my jeans. At this point in the day my jeans were pasted to my skin. It was like walking around in a wet pair of jeans all day. Yuck! I noticed several local Thais and foreigners wearing loose fitting pants. The material is ultrathin and designed with patterns of elephants. They are very popular in Thailand. A few times I thought to myself, I need to be wearing something like that! But then I took another look at its style and knew that it was not for me. There was nothing cute about them. They looked like something to be worn around the house. As hours passed I started to spend more time thinking about how my jeans were beginning to get in the way of my enjoyment. I said, “Screw it!” I bought a pair of the pants, went to the public bathroom (also known as the water closet) and changed into my new $5.00 pants that may not have been cute but they were super comfortable! Style lost and my sanity won. 

the things one will do for comfort!

Only a few minutes from the Grand Palace was another temple – Wat Pho. This temple is famed for its giant reclining Buddha that is 46 meters long covered in gold. Before entering the temple we removed our shoes, a customary act when going inside any temple. It is a good idea to always have socks available in case you are wearing sandals. I hate being barefoot in public places. The size of the Buddha in person was unreal and overwhelming. 

A tuk-tuk

on our way to the next wat in the tuk-tuk

In the background is the Grand Palace

In this picture it is very clear how hot it was. I almost look like I just got out of a pool!

Reclining Buddha

Donation buckets for the monks

As we went to put our shoes back on it began pouring down rain. Most downpours usually last a few minutes. Not this one. It went on to rain for more than 30 minutes. Crowds of people took cover under the entrance of the temple. Even the Thai people relocated indoors during the shower. When the rain finally started to slow down we made a run for the pier. The next boat back to the main pier was scheduled to leave in a few minutes. By this time it was later in the afternoon and the boats were swamped with people. Once we arrived to the pier and caught the train back to the hotel, a very long shower was calling our names!

That night we ate dinner at a local Thai restaurant called Thanying. I found this restaurant on my go-to site for all things-to-do when touring another country, tripadvisor.com. This is a great site with mostly accurate reviews of establishments. Tripadvisor.com and booking.com have not failed me yet. This restaurant was tucked away on a side street that I would have never chosen to walk down on my own. I assume most of its business comes from reviews such as the one I saw online or by word of mouth. The venue was small but elegant. The service and staff were superb and the food was even better. I highly recommend a visit to Thanying if you ever find yourself in Bangkok wanting to eat traditional Thai food.

options for dessert spread on platter  - you get to see what it looks like before purchasing

During the rest of the week I planned to hang out with fellow MSG spouses and travel around in the city. My entire week was booked! However, my plans came to a screeching halt when I found myself sick on Tuesday.

I made an appointment for a Thai massage Tuesday afternoon. I’ve never experienced a Thai massage before, though I heard much about this yoga-like massage. You are fully clothed in a loose garment and the masseuse stretches your body in positions you may have not thought possible for your body. I had a talk with my masseuse and informed her there is a limit to my flexibility. My legs will only bend but so far! I had an hour-long foot massage and a 90 minute body massage. The foot massage was fantastic! At least I assume it was since I was asleep the entire time. The Thai massage was not as great – no fault to the masseuse. I felt my body get very warm and achy. Something just didn’t feel right. By the time I was done my body was so warm I developed a fever. After leaving the spa I headed to the hotel and climbed into my bed for the rest of the day. I would have never guessed that is where I would remain for the remainder of the trip. My symptoms continued to get worse over the next three days. Eventually I found myself in the local medical unit at the US Embassy in Bangkok. I was then diagnosed with strep throat and an infection. Since I was contagious it was a good thing I did not try to fight my body and explore Bangkok with the rest of the spouses. I would have hated to get them or their kids sick. It is absolutely no fun being sick while on vacation, but it was nice to be sick while at a great hotel. Always an upside!

Lavana Spa

Tea and wet cloth brought to me before the massage

Foot-bath area

Massage room

This was brought out to me after the massage, but at that point I was too sick to know what this was...

The latter half of our trip did not go as planned, but we had a wonderful time nonetheless. I felt terrible that Douglas missed out on seeing more of Thailand after he got off work. Instead of hanging out with the group, he chose to stay in the room with sick ol’ me. I guess I could have complained for many reasons. But when I really thought about it, no complaints came to my mind because I was in Thailand; sick, yes, but with my husband by my side.  

Baht - Thai Currency

Siam Paragon - one of the largest shopping malls in Asia

MBK Shopping Center - almost like an indoor Chatuchak

Getting Up Again

I certainly didn’t expect to take such a long break away from my blog. It has been a little over six weeks since my last entry. I have spent the past few days thinking about what type of entry I would post once I resumed writing. I left off preparing to go to Thailand with Douglas for work/leisure. It would only make sense to pick up there and share my experience of the trip. But I knew that in doing so, I would be leaving a huge part of my journey out of this blog. Our journeys can appear to look quite enviable from the outside looking in. I get to travel overseas and experience the world like many have never done. Nothing should be wrong. However, life happens for us all regardless of our location. Recently, I was struggling to figure out how to deal with what happened in my life.

Over the past six weeks I kept thinking, If only my life could rewind and resume playing from early April this year. Since then, it seemed my life had been one big roller coaster ride that never came to a stop. While I enjoy the thrill of riding a roller coaster, I can only take so much of it and I definitely don’t want to be on a bad one. In early April, I got on a roller coaster that started out great! But along the way it turned bad and took some time to come to a complete stop. It just kept going and going further up, then rapidly dropping down taking me through several winding loops that went upside down, and then proceeded to repeat itself for the next five months.  When that roller coaster finally stopped at the end of August, I exited the ride exhausted, drained, and dizzy from all the twists and turns. I fell to the ground and felt as though I had nothing left in me to do anything else. I had stopped and didn’t start moving again until just recently.

I am sure many people experience worse rides on a life-coaster than I did, but the ride I took was tough nonetheless. It took off in early April to Portugal for a much-needed vacation with Douglas. Then it left Portugal five days earlier than planned to fly back to Africa where we remained for three days and prepared for emergency leave to the United States because my mother-in-law was diagnosed as terminally ill. We spent two weeks in South Carolina to be by her side. Thankfully the doctors were wrong and she is currently living and no longer terminally ill. We then extended our emergency leave and flew to New York for one week because I received news that my father was hospitalized and critically ill. Then we flew back to Africa where we remained for three weeks until receiving news that we were getting orders for relocation to Vietnam. I then flew back to the United States to spend two weeks of quality time with family before our big move, to only find out my father had passed away during my flight home. I then mustered up the strength to plan his home-going service. I then flew back to Africa and spent the next month packing our home in preparation for our move to Vietnam. We then flew back to the United States for work/leisure and remained there for two weeks. We then flew from the United States to Vietnam, our new home. We then spent three weeks settling into a new country, beginning to adapt to yet another different culture.  Then we flew to Thailand and spent almost two weeks there for work/leisure. We finally flew back to Vietnam at the end of August. This life-coaster was mentally and physically taxing on my entire body, but I didn’t know just how much until it finally stopped.

I became sort of numb. Stillness went through my body. I felt like I could not mentally move anymore. I did not want to think about anything. I had no desire to do the things that once brought me joy; like writing, exercising, cooking, or socializing. Unfortunately, I did not lose my desire to eat. The one thing that would have actually been a nice change didn’t happen! Whenever I spoke to people I still smiled and joked on the phone or in messages. I participated in local events that requested my attendance. I agreed to go out with others when invited to events. I only cooked because Douglas and I had to eat. I found myself doing only what I deemed necessary to maintain a semblance of normalcy for myself and to others. After a few weeks I spoke to a few individuals and realized that what I was doing was called grieving. Because my life-coaster ride took so long to come to a full stop, I never had the time to grieve the loss of my dad.

I can best describe the relationship I had with my dad as different than what I know most father and daughter relationships to be. The character of my dad was also different than what I would describe of most fathers or husbands. Because of these differences my emotions were always at odds while he was living and now after his death. But, above every single difference that existed, my father always loved me and showed it in everything he did for me. I was his baby girl. I was his Nicky. I brought joy to his heart simply by existing. Never once did I not know that fact which made coping during this situation even more difficult. Between battling the differences my father had and the love he possessed for me, I found myself deeply confused, being angry and sad. While many individuals can turn to their siblings or another parent for support during such a time, that notion wasn’t quite available for me. The relationship I share with my siblings is also different than what I know most sibling relationships to be. Because of that difference (though we have always loved one another), it didn’t allow me the comfort of communicating with them my emotional struggles. The relationship my father had with my mother was also different than what I know most husband and wife relationships to be. All these relationships regarding my dad were complicated. So, I chose to keep my emotions and thoughts bottled up inside, a choice I later discovered was the worst possible.

Choosing to keep the pain of everything I felt to myself while choosing to give so much of myself to others was an unfair exchange. It was an unfair and unbalanced choice I made for myself. When two things are not balanced, one of them will eventually fall lower than the other. During the past few weeks I realized I could not keep up that exchange any longer. I couldn’t keep pretending. I decided to make a change. I began to admit my hurt to others. I also began to give less of myself to everything else in my life. While I thought in doing this I was going to feel even more depleted, it was during those moments that I felt my cup filling up again. In the beginning, each day felt empty. No change had occurred. But as the days passed, I began feeling more hopeful. Thinking about my father’s passing didn’t hurt as much. I started reflecting on good memories and thinking of what he would love to see me doing. Things began coming together the way I believed they would at some point.

I am a very positive person who believes in always remaining hopeful. It was in those quiet days that I started to see exactly what I should do to move forward. Once I saw the vision of what I wanted it became very easy for me to start moving towards it. I have now become an active volunteer with the embassy community. I now look into the mirror and can recognize myself again. I have resumed my health regimen that I stopped in April. I am back to exercising daily and eating well. My mental and physical energy have greatly increased, and I feel alive again! Very often, the family members of those closest to someone who passed away, usually allow a part of themselves to die with that family member. I do believe that is normal and to be expected. If you loved that person, it seems hard not to feel dead inside as you mourn their loss. I should have just embraced that feeling instead of fighting it. Sadness still lives in me for the void of my father, but I do believe that while our bodies are here physically, we cannot mentally stay where our loved ones now reside. Our loved ones will never turn us away from staying with them in their final resting place. Rather, they need us to exit on our own and be the best version of ourselves that can possibly exist. They want us to continue living and experience progress in our life. No matter where the clarity of the relationship with my dad falls on the spectrum, I am well aware that at some point I have to start living again. For me, that happened when I made a shift in my thought process.

To anyone who has lost a loved one, I believe our loved ones are patiently waiting and watching for our next move. So I say, let’s get busy living and give them something to smile about.

Take-Out, Hanoi Style!

Ordering take-out is normal in America. I didn’t expect such normalcy in Hanoi. There are numerous places that deliver food to your doorstep. A few websites were provided to us, but the one we favor is http://www.vietnammm.com/en/. I was amazed to see how many restaurants delivered and the varieties of cuisine that were available. The website is extremely user friendly. It gives you a full display of the menu and often describes the contents of each dish. You simply select the item and quantity and place in your shopping cart. During checkout, you can select what time you want your order delivered. The earliest time is ASAP and then every half-hour is listed until the close of business. Easy breezy!

Douglas and I hardly ever ordered take-out food in the States. If we wanted take-out in Algiers there was really only one restaurant we trusted ordering from. Here, however, there are well over 100 restaurants for our choosing. I’m sure only 1/4 of them are to our standard of deliciousness, but still, it’s great to have options! Also, people have told us it comes in handy on those days when the sky decides to open up and rain heavily for hours on end in the day. It rains very frequently in Hanoi; this city is no stranger to monsoons and torrential downpours.

Since I’m still learning my way around the grocery stores, markets, and vegetable stands, we have taken advantage of ordering in twice now. I have to say I am impressed with the level of customer service around here. Yet another reason why I love Hanoi!

One afternoon I was in the mood for Indian cuisine. I decided to order from a nearby restaurant, Taj Mahal. I went online, placed my order, and received a confirmation email. Then I received a confirmation text. Minutes later I received a phone call from the restaurant. I had requested the food be delivered ASAP and the gentleman called to ask if one hour and ten minutes would be okay. I said sure. I wasn’t expecting it any sooner than an hour anyway.

Exactly one hour later my food was delivered. I ordered butter chicken, basmati rice, and a spinach dish. Everything was good, but the chicken dish was pretty spicy for my taste. I was happy though, and would definitely order from them again.

Later that evening my phone rang and it was an employee from Taj Mahal. The conversation went something like this:

Employee: Hi, I’m calling from Taj Mahal. You had a delivery earlier today?
Me: Yes, I did.
Employee: I wanted to know what you thought about your food and the delivery service? Was everything good?
Me: (after looking at the phone in awe) The delivery was great and the food was very good. 
I figured while I had her on the phone I would ask about the chicken dish. Usually butter chicken is not so spicy, so I wanted to ask her about it. 
Me: I have a quick question about my dish. My butter chicken was good, but very spicy. Is that usually how the dish is served?
Employee: Oh no problem. I’m so sorry. I will be sure to let the chef know for all your future orders to make your dishes less spicy. No problem. Okay? 
(At this point, Douglas and I did a slow turn to each other with both our faces twisted to the side in complete disbelief that this conversation is even happening, let alone the employee telling me that the chef will make adjustments on all my future orders.) 
Me: Uh...wow! Thank you. That will be great!
Employee: Okay, bye-bye. Good night to you.
Me (to Douglas): Babe, I want to bring her and this restaurant back to the States with us!

Now that is customer service at its absolute finest! I see many online orders to Taj Mahal in our future, whether we want Indian food or not!

First Week Pampering Experience

The embassy has a check-in sheet with specific department heads that new employees meet with to receive briefings. Spouses are included on several of those meetings. While Douglas had his appointments, I created my own list of venues to visit.

Our sponsors and several other ladies at the embassy told me about the inexpensive pampering treatments they receive here, most of which occur on a weekly basis. I was excited to begin my “Nicole check-in” process. My first stop was Sofitel. Inside this beautiful hotel is a place called Lan’s Salon where you can get your hair and nails done. It came highly recommended (as did each place I visited). I was admittedly skeptical upon entering the salon. I saw no signs of nail polish or a spa chair in sight. The staff was very kind and directed me to sit in a chair that looked like it was more for shoe shining. The ladies then brought out the at-home foot bath tub and placed it underneath my legs. I thought to myself, I can do this at home! I later discovered the use of a foot bath is very normal in Hanoi. Most places do not have the typical spa chairs we’re accustomed to in America. One lady did my pedicure and the other my manicure. They used O.P.I. nail polish and had several colors to choose from. Their work was great! Almost three weeks later, my pedicure is still intact! The mani/pedi cost $22. I paid an additional $10 to receive extra foot treatment. I’d say the prices are cheaper or at least comparable to most in the States.

My next stop was Yakushi Holistic Health Clinic. They had an extensive list of massages to choose from. Yakushi has received rave reviews due to their excellent work, outstanding customer service, and onsite physician who often gives free consultations. You receive a massage by people who are trained at the skill and certified to offer advice on specific massages recommended for many ailments. I opted for the acupressure/aromatherapy 90-minute massage. My masseuse was a teeny weeny lady named Twee. She was incredibly sweet. Twee may have been tiny, but man was she strong! During the beginning of the massage she asked me if I would like it harder or softer. I had to say softer a few times because she was digging into my muscles like nobody’s business! I’ll have to build up to that kind of pressure. She worked on my body for the full 90 minutes. When I was finished my bill was $15. There is absolutely nowhere in the States that you will get a GOOD 90-minute massage for that price, if you can get one at all. Yet another luxury of Hanoi.

My final stop was Thu Cuc Exotical Spa. This place offered everything - facials, acne treatments, spa packages, body treatments, waxing, full body scrubs, manicures, pedicures, tattoo treatments, and hair treatments. One evening after work I went with a group of ladies from the embassy to receive a facial. I had the Skin Care with Vitamin E facial. It lasted 60 minutes and included a head, shoulder, and upper back massage. My bill was $17 and my face face felt fabulous afterwards.

The next time I visit these venues I’ll be sure to snap some photos. Hopefully then I will be with Douglas so he too can enjoy a relaxing massage and maybe a manicure too. I’ve been trying to convince him to do it at least once. Maybe now he will give it a whirl since it’s super cheap. I could definitely get used to this kind of treatment at these prices. It’s no wonder most women at the embassy have recurring appointments. However, I will not be pampering myself as often as they do. Even inexpensive luxuries add up. Douglas and I don’t want to spend our vacation money on luxuries that can be done anytime. Everything in moderation. We’re just happy we have this as an option to moderate!