The Secret: January Book of the Month

My mom gave me this book in March 2008. I skimmed through it, reading without much thought. I had never taken the time to process the meaning behind the words. I do believe we are not always in a place to allow ourselves to receive greatness, even when it’s handed to us on a platter. You have to be open and ready to receive that which is good.

The Secret is based off the law of attraction. Everything that comes into our lives we are attracting into our lives. The book explains how we can use our minds, which are superbly powerful, to draw out of the Universe all of our desires. It also shows how we can use that same power to draw negativity and self-doubt into our lives. The way we think controls everything we do or don’t do. Whatever we choose to focus on is what we will eventually get. The biggest thing I learned from The Secret is that we often place ourselves in a box of limitations by focusing on what we cannot do. As I was reading I reflected on the times I said, "I can’t do (this or that) because it’s too hard or it’s impossible," or "I can’t handle it." I’ve thought about the times when I’ve stopped myself from wanting a desire too big because it seemed out of reach for me. I thought about the countless time I’ve spoken with family, friends, or acquaintances that have uttered those same words. We prevent ourselves from receiving our greatest desires, abundant success, and happiness simply by saying, “I can’t.”

I also pondered the many times in my life when I said the words, “I can.” When I said those words, miracles happened, mountains moved, and things that were thought to be unrealistic became quite realistic. There were several times in my life when I applied the message of The Secret without even knowing it. Let me share with you the story about my first big move as an adult.

After graduating from college I had to choose whether or not I wanted to move back home to New York with my dad, go to Virginia with my mom, or remain in the state I was living. Those were the initial options I gave myself. But then I began to expand my thoughts and allow my mind to think outside of the box. I decided that I could actually go anywhere I wanted to go. At the time my parents were going through a divorce so I didn’t really feel like I had a home to go back to the way many college graduates did. I had no boyfriend at the time so there wasn’t a relationship keeping me around. I now had a college degree; therefore, I was equipped with the knowledge to get a good job anywhere. And most of all, I had faith that I could establish myself at any place I went.

While working at my job in Maryland, one of my co-workers asked me if I would ever consider moving to California to be roommates. She was interested in pursuing acting and Los Angeles was the place to do that. I recall my first response was something like, “That’s crazy. I can’t do that.”  We continued to joke about it as though we both knew it was an outrageous idea that would probably never happen. A couple weeks passed and my friend had already dismissed the idea. But I held on to it. I began to say to myself, “Hey, why can’t I move to California?”

I remember going home to New York for a few days to spend time with my family. We went to eat at Jimmy’s, a popular Spanish restaurant in the Bronx that no longer exists today. While eating, I said aloud, “I’m going to move to California.” My brother immediately responded, “You can’t do that!” In retrospect, I know he didn’t mean any malice behind that comment. He probably just saw my statement as something unrealistic. Most of the people around me saw my idea as unrealistic. That may have been the fuel that got me started. Within days I contacted my old college roommate, Rachel, who moved to California a year prior. She was the only person I knew there. I asked her if I could stay at her apartment in Burbank for one week. During this time I would decide whether or not I really wanted to live in California. I had only been there once as a child when we had a family reunion that was held in Pasadena.

In July 2004 I booked my ticket and flew into Burbank Airport. I took public transportation to explore the city. Anyone who knows Los Angeles knows that public transportation is far from ideal. I did this for a week and made the decision that I could do it. I could live in California. I returned to Maryland, called my mom, and told her I would be moving to California in 2 ½ months, on my birthday. At the time I was just 22. My mom was especially nervous for me, holding on to countless reservations. But all I remember was her supporting me fully. I later learned that my mother developed a lot of gray hair and had plenty of sleepless nights during my transition. She was a trooper though. My mom began contacting our distant relatives in California, trying to find a place for me to live. She eventually contacted a seventh cousin in Pasadena. (I personally stop counting cousins after three or four.) This cousin said I could rent a room out of her home for $600 a month. Looking back, that was the first sign that this cousin was shady. Who charges their relative that much a month when they are just getting started? But I happily agreed because this meant I secured a roof over my head. We confirmed that I would be there on October 2^nd, the day after my birthday. It was then that I began my planning. At the time I had less than $1500 in my bank account, no job offers, and no car; yet I was about to pay $600 per month to live at this “stranger's” home. It’s no wonder my mother was on edge the entire time. Her daughter was setting herself up to move across the country and end up homeless after two months. But my mother never stopped supporting me. I recall her incessantly reassuring me that I had a home in her house. However, I remained focus on my desire. I didn’t care that financially this move made absolutely no sense. I had faith which drove me to continue moving forward.

A couple weeks before I was geared up to leave I called my cousin to remind her of my arrival. Days passed and she never answered. I even called her cell phone and left several messages, but no response. When I told my mother this news she was in awe. The woman practically vanished! It felt the same way it does when a guy gives you his number and says, “Call me so we can go out.” And then he never answers his phone and you’re thinking, “Well, why did you give me your number in the first place?” Yeah, it was exactly like that, except I didn’t give up there. I called Rachel and asked if she could pick me up from the airport and allow me stay with her for a few days while I waited for my cousin to reappear. At this point my mother was now preparing for a daughter who would be homeless in a couple weeks rather than a couple months. I can see how my plan was “All of Crazy!” None of it made sense. One would have thought I was setting myself up for failure, though I didn’t see it that way. I told my mother I had faith that everything would be fine. My faith was the only steady thing in this situation. I wasn’t about to let that go. 

October 2^nd finally arrived and my mother and cousin drove me to the airport. Looking back I know that was probably the hardest goodbye my mother has ever had to say to me. Even though my road ahead appeared to be unpromising, bleak, and risky; I never hesitated nor did I once question my decision. I was just excited, eager, and determined to make it work. Rachel picked me and all my bags and boxes up from the airport. Once I landed in California everything I had done sunk in with me. I realized I still hadn’t heard back from my cousin and I was no longer around my biggest supporter, my mother. That night Rachel and I went to see a movie, Shark Tale. All I remember is sitting there crying my eyes out thinking, “What have I done? I can’t believe this is happening to me? How will I make it work?” Every bit of self-doubt that I managed to keep out of my consciousness had now surfaced. I was a mess. After a few hours we went back to her place where I dried my eyes up and was done with the “woe is me” attitude. It was out of my system and I regained my focus.

Rachel’s parents were coming into town the following week and needed to use my squatting place. My mother did some calling around to find our cousin but could only get in contact with her daughter. Now you wouldn’t believe this but her daughter had no idea I was coming to town or that her mother planned to rent a room out of her house to me. I was in complete dismay with my distant cousin. Her daughter was kind though. She offered for me to stay at her home in Pasadena until her mother returned. Rachel and I packed up my things and she drove me to this woman’s home where I remained for two weeks. Those two weeks were the worst! I was living in an area subjected to gang violence. I was sleeping on a water bed that was far from comforting. I was living with a woman who had a foster child that was clearly being mistreated. It was so uncomfortable for me. Every day, I took the bus from her house to Old Town Pasadena where I spent the entire day in the library searching for a job. Each day I purchased one large meal from Rubio’s, a popular Mexican restaurant, and made that food last me throughout the entire day. Nothing was going as I hoped. During the whole time I still had yet to hear from this cousin of mine. Her daughter hadn’t heard from her either. Believe me, if this sounds mysterious to you; imagine how it felt to me going through it. My mother and I spoke on the phone every day and she continuously reassured me that I could return home anytime I wanted. But I gave her the same reply as before, “No thank you. I have faith that it will all work out.”

At the end of those two weeks Rachel called me and said her parents left. She inquired about my situation to see if I moved in with my cousin yet. Sadly, I didn’t have good news to share. Rachel then made me the sweetest offer. She said, “You can come live in my living room for $300 a month.” I responded with a firm yes, feeling tremendously grateful for her kindness. Rachel came to pick me up that following weekend. I informed the lady I was staying with that I was appreciative of her hospitality, but I would be moving out. What happened afterwards astounded me. The day before Rachel picked me up my mysterious cousin called me. This woman had the nerve to ask me, “Where are you going?” She said she was at her home in Michigan and would return shortly. She said she thought I would be fine since we had other family there. I thought to myself, “Are you flipping crazy?” I held that phone aghast at her reaction. I kid you not, this entire story is true. I didn’t even get indignant with this woman on the phone. I simply replied by telling her that I would no longer be staying there. I was in disbelief that she treated me as though I did something wrong. Some people!

I moved into Rachel’s living room and, eventually, a room of my own. After a few temporary jobs, I landed a great position with a company that offered excellent benefits. I remained in California, sharing an apartment with Rachel for the next two years. I had done it! I successfully established myself in California. The words “I can’t” spoken by myself and others were proven wrong. That which seemed unrealistic became a reality I created, beginning with my thoughts and followed by my actions. I focused my mind on what I wanted. Regardless how unrealistic my desire seemed, with unwavering faith I focused on my vision coming true. By law of attraction I got back exactly what I put out. The Secret reminded me of just how powerful thoughts are. The cliché, “I can do anything I set my mind to” is indeed true.

 “Everything that you want – all the joy, love, abundance, prosperity, bliss – it’s there, ready for you to grab a hold of it. You’ve got to get hungry for it. You’ve got to become intentional and on fire for what you want. And when you do, the Universe will deliver every single thing that you’ve been wanting.” –The Secret